New Beginnings
by cod0923
Summary: An alien named Hermaphone has a dream where he wants to meet his favorite cartoons. But, he doesn't just want to meet them, he wants to meet them all together. So, he decides to create a portal on a planet that he finds to open a gateway so he can meet his favorite toons. He will utilize the planet to make it a place where different cartoons can stay at. Will this all go well?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, this is my first fanfic that I am starting to write on this website. It may not be the best at my work yet since I barely have any experience with writing, but I will gladly take any reviews or criticism of what I need to fix on my writing.**

 **This will be a crossover series that I will be making, with multiple stories like this one and long ones that will be in the process for many months.**

 **This series will be sort of wacky at some points and will be adult-orientated, with either being a T or M rating depending on how it is. This crossover series will contain many cartoons that I watch, while I do strive to watch more, they will contain the ones that I have full knowledge of in order to prevent any confusion on the writing.**

 **This will contain many cartoons ranging from kids cartoons to adult cartoons, this will be sort of a parody since I do plan on making the characters swear, but I will tone it down on the characters who normally do it and the ones who don't.**

 **One more thing, I will _NOT_ have any crossover shippings or rule 34 between any cartoon character in my series. While there will be many adult situations, it won't involve the characters in a way that will make you not seem them the same way.**

 **That's about it, hope you guys enjoy!**

Deep in a galaxy in another dimension, there lives a unique alien life form that all live inside one big ship to go on about with their daily lives. These aliens look nothing but like blue orbs with eyes, hands, and mouths. They also do not have any noses, ears, or body for that matter. Think of them as living balls full of electricity.

In that ship however lives an alien who likes to keep himself isolated from the others, he goes by the name of Hermaphone. All his life, Hermaphone loved to watch cartoons and usually spends most of his time in his room on the ship watching nothing but cartoons. Hermaphone dreams one day to meet his favorite cartoons, but he does not just want to meet them, he wants to meet them all at the same time.

Hermaphone has been a big fan of crossovers and loves to see two or more different cartoons interact with each other. That is why he wants to see all of his favorite cartoons together. However, due to his hard life on the ship, he is not so sure that he can achieve his dream. Mainly due to his nagging boss who makes him work overtime at his job, which is a normal job at the office.

However, that is all about to change...

One day while working in the ship's office, Hermaphone was filling out some papers that he had to get done before he got off work. He had a numerous amount of papers that almost stacked all the way to the ceiling. While he was filling them out, Hermaphone was called to his office by his boss to talk to him about something. Hermaphone then heads to his boss to see what he has to say to him.

Hermaphone knocks at the door of his office, "You called me in Mr. Milton?" said Hermaphone, as he was walking to his office.

"Ah yes Hermes, come on in and have a seat." exclaimed Mr. Milton, Hermaphone then sat down on the chair.

"Mr. Milton, that is not my name."

"Yes, but that is what I call you and I'll keep calling you that do you understand?"

"Yes boss." said Hermaphone weakly

"So Hermes, I have observed you over these past few days in the office and, quite frankly I'm a little disappointed in your progress here."

Hermaphone gave a confused look at his boss after he said this since Hermaphone has been working hard in the office for the past couple of days. "My progress, what about my progress?"

"Well, you see you haven't been performing well on your duties these past days and have not seen a lot of effort from you. Hell, you still haven't even got through your stack of papers that I gave you."

Hermaphone looks back at the papers through the window of Mr. Milton's office, "What do you mean? Those were a lot of papers you gave me you can't expect me to finish them fast."

Mr. Milton gave Hermaphone a glaring stare, "Now don't pull that bullshit on me, I have seen you work harder before."

"I've always worked at this pace!" yelled Hermaphone

"Hey! Don't yell at me because your angry, it's not my fault you live an isolated, miserable life and can't function properly." exclaimed Mr. Milton

"Isolated, miserable?! Look, I don't know what the hell you are talking about, but I have been working my ass off in this office for the past week, and you're telling me that I'm not functioning properly?!" yelled Hermaphone

"Yes, and because of your progress, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cut your paycheck by 30% and the end of this month."

"30 percent?! What are you fucking crazy?"

"No, I'm reasonable, if you want I can cut it 10% more because of your attitude right now."

Hermaphone completely lost it and gave his boss a piece of his mind. "No, you know what? I'm done working for you, you are the most selfish prick that I have worked for in my whole life. I am not gonna stand for this bullshit anymore."

"So what are you gonna do about it then Hermes? You gonna crawl back to your pathetic life doing nothing but watching cartoons all fricken day?" asked Mr. Milton

"Yes." said Hermaphone, "I am gonna crawl back to my life, and not only that, I'm gonna quit this stupid job, and go pursue my dreams like I should have done a long time ago!"

"Fine, see if I care, I'll just find someone else that has more potential than you will ever have!"

"Good, hopefully then, they will realize how much a sack of shit you really are." Hermaphone then storms out of Mr. Milton's office and heads toward his room. Making everyone in the office look towards the commotion.

Mr. Milton peeks out of his door towards Hermaphone shortly after he leaves, "YOU'LL NEVER BE SUCCESSFUL HERMAPHONE! YOU WILL DIE A SAD LIFE DO YOU HEAR ME!?" Hermaphone just keeps walking away.

Hermaphone finally arrived to his room, he starts packing all of his belongings as he plans to leave the ship and go pursue his dreams. He gets a suitcase and starts putting everything in there, his clothes, collectibles, and all of his DVD's of the cartoons he owns.

"Fucking Mr. Milton. He has been controlling me all my life! Well, I'm not gonna deal with that crap anymore. Not anymore as long as I live!"

Hermaphone finishes packing and starts heading for his little ship that he has parked inside the ship near the exit. Hermaphone gets in his ship and leaves his home. "Bye Mr. Milton, no good for nothing boss." said Hermaphone, as he heads toward the middle of space.

Meanwhile in the middle of space, Hermaphone is still pissed at his boss for what he has put him through, he stops the ship and lets out an exhausted sigh. "Well now what do I do? I've left my home, everything. I really have nothing to go for me right now. I guess I'll just continue, hoping something good comes my way."

Just then, Hermaphone gets an idea that changes his mood from a sad sap to a happy person. "Wait a minute, my dream, I still have my dream to go after! I still have to meet my favorite cartoons!" Hermaphone then goes back to being sad slowly after that.

"But what does that matter anyways. They probably don't even exist." Hermaphone then puts his face on the controls of the ship.

"No, NO. They do exist, I know it. If I have learned one thing for sure, it's that no matter what, I will keep believing, and what do I believe? I believe that I have some toons to meet."

Hermaphone then uses his ship's special function which is to travel to another dimension. "If I can get this right, I can get travel to another galaxy, I can find a new home to achieve my goal, hopefully this works."

Hermaphone turns on the ship's function which makes the ship shake violently, all of a sudden, the ship blasts toward space disappearing out of thin air.

Hermaphone is in the ship going at the fastest rate possible since the ship needs to go fast enough to get in another dimension. After a few seconds of speeding up, the ship's function finally ends and leaving Hermaphone dizzy.

After he regains to his normal self, he notices that he has just landed near a planet. He looks at the planet which turns out to be very similar to Earth. He goes towards it and finds a city on the planet to land his ship on.

He lands his ship in a small town in the Earth equivalent of California in a city that is supposed to resemble Los Angeles. He gets out of his ship to look around and was astonished at the landscape of the planet.

"Wow, this, this is amazing! I have never seen a planet so beautiful before!" He looks around the planet and finds nothing but buildings and streets.

Oddly enough, there is no sign of people as he looks around, he thinks to himself why people would leave such a planet that is as gorgeous as this one, and what happened to the civilization before this. He didn't really care though.

After he explores a bit he finds the town hall of the city and decides to go in, he looks around in the main lobby and the rest of the building a bit, he decided to sit down for a bit in one of the rooms and think to himself for a bit.

"I can't believe it, I actually can't believe it, I have found the perfect planet to continue my goal, my life long goal!" But the question his, how will he achieve it? He then gets another great idea.

"The ship, I can use the ship, with it's special dimensional warp, I can use that to create a portal for cartoons to come to this planet! That way, I can for sure see all my favorite toons together!" exclaimed Hermaphone."

Hermaphone then quickly gets his ship that he landed not too far from the town hall and maneuvers it careful enough to not cause any damage in the building. He lands the ship in an open area of the building and starts getting to work.

Hermaphone is really intelligent, he has graduated high school with all A's and received a master's degree in engineering and science in college. The only reason why he worked at an office though was because he couldn't find any job openings for what he majored in sadly.

"Let's see" said Hermaphone as he looked at his blueprints, which had what seemed to be a portal on it. "If I can connect my ship to this portal, then try to loop the function so it can stay on forever, then I could have a working portal! Then my dreams could finally come true! But wait, if I actually make this planet accessible to the cartoons, what will I call it?

Hermaphone started thinking a bunch of random names but they didn't sound good to him. He then thought of family because he saw his toons that way, not in a creepy way though. "Hmm, 'family' could be part of the name, and 'extravagant' could be part to since that is how this would all turn out!" But he then though that a name like Famextravagant was too complex. But, even though he wanted to change it, he still wanted a complex name to capture a unique planet like this.

"Famagant? Famaextra? Famaextraordinary? Nah, those are too stupid." said Hermaphone, till he then though out the perfect name to him. "Wait, I got it! I'll name my planet Famaganzian! I think that sounds like a good name."

So then it was, Famaganzian was the name that he was gonna give to the planet. After he thought of the name, he got back to working on the portal. It took many days to finish the portal with him staying up 24 hours each day just to get it done as early as possible.

After about a week of non-stop working, he finally got it done and was amazed on how it turned out, now all he had to do was test it, which made him a little worried that it was not gonna work. "Well, here goes nothing." Hermaphone pushes the button on the control panel of the portal which makes the ship start to shake and the portal as well.

Sparks start to fly out of them and the lights of the town hall start to flicker. After a few more moments of shaking, everything stops and the systems make a sound that is clear enough to signify that they powered down. Hermaphone sees this and looks down at the ground in disappointment. He then lets out a slow sigh as he keeps looking at the ground.

"Well, I tried. I knew this wasn't gonna work. Guess I should follow something else then." Hermaphone then walks away sadly, but as soon as he does that, the portal opens up and begins working, making Hermaphone turn around and jump in excitement.

"It works. IT WORKS! Yes! I did it!" exclaimed Hermaphone as he runs around the room in happily. After a few moments of joy, he eventually calms down and starts to wonder what cartoon will come first.

The way the portal works is that it will open another portal in a random dimension of one of his favorite cartoons, he programmed this while he was building the portal.

Hermaphone can also see what cartoon can come by the monitor on the control panel through transmissions of images and sounds of where the other portal is. Hermaphone then looks at the monitor and tries to find out what cartoon has a chance of coming first.

He listens to the monitor real closely and hears nothing for a bit. But then, he starts to hear a bunch of children having an argument and swearing at each other, spouting nothing but vulgar curses at one another. He starts to think of what show that could be, and then he finds out what it is.

It is none other than South Park.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a peaceful day in South Park, shortly after the Trolltrace website went online, everything went back to the way it was. That included the usual arguing, and shenanigans that the South Park kids usually got themselves into.

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny were all standing silently at the bus stop waiting for their bus to arrive, until to no surprise, Cartman begins a conversation that will most likely end up in Kyle cursing him out.

"Hey you guys, did you know that a three-headed beaver exists?" said Cartman. His friends then looked at him like he was crazy in a few seconds of silence.

"No, and we don't wanna know." said Kyle, which made Cartman start to get angry.

"Oh yeah well, they exist Kyle, unlike the many great things that I say exist, this I got proof of!" exclaimed Cartman.

Kyle looked at him for a few seconds with a slightly confused face, "Really? Well where's your proof then?" exclaimed Kyle.

"I found this piece of wood near Stark's Pond the other day, and there were three dents in it, like three heads just somehow bit into it. said Cartman.

Stan jumped into the conversation to try to end his nonsense and give a logical explanation. "Well it could have been just three beavers biting on it you know?" said Stan.

"Yeah, or even it could have been just one beaver who just bit at the wood at three different places! Seriously Cartman what the hell kind of proof is that?" exclaimed Kyle.

"Dude I'm telling you guys, the way the wood was dented, it just had to be a three-headed beaver, you guys just gotta come and look, I'll show you!" exclaimed Cartman.

"We don't want to see, because we all know that a three-headed beaver does not exist." said Kyle.

"Yes it does exist! Screw what you guys have to say, I bet Kenny probably believes me! You believe me right Kenny?" said Cartman.

"(Fuck no)." Kenny said with a muffled voice.

"Oh okay! Fine, you know what, I'm just gonna get the piece of wood myself and bring it here! That way, I can show it off to all of you right in your fucking faces!" shouted Cartman as he ran off to Stark's Pond. Leaving Stan, Kyle, and Kenny at the bus stop.

"Dude, when is this gonna stop?" Stan asked.

"Never." Kyle answered bitterly

Cartman continues to walk towards the pond, he passes a few trees and keeps swearing under his breath while he walks over there.

"What do they know? Saying it doesn't exist. Oh just they wait, just they fucking wait. I am gonna find that wood and wave it right at their faces. If only I could find it first that is." said Cartman quietly.

After a few minutes of walking, Cartman finally gets to the area where he found it, which is actually in the woods near Stark's Pond.

"Alright, where is that piece of wood? Hmm, it could be over there near the bushes, or near that tree where I once saw a dog taking a shit on somebody. Or maybe, wait, the fallen tree!" said Cartman as he walked towards the fallen tree, which was literally a tree that has fallen due to the heavy storm South Park got a few weeks back.

"Sweet piece of wood here I come!" exclaimed Cartman as he was excitingly running over there, not after falling on his ass a couple of times however.

"Yes! There it is!" yelled Cartman, as he saw the piece of wood he was looking for. He went to go pick up the wood, but to his dismay, it had only one dent in it, the second dent was just a leaf that had been stuck on it and the third dent was actually just some deer crap that was on the wood.

"OH, GOD-DAMMIT!" shouted Cartman to the top of his lungs. He then threw the wood on the ground in frustration.

"Shit! Now I'll never be able to rub it in their faaaaaaaacccccceeeess?" as Cartman said this, he saw a strange blue light coming from the trees in the woods, due to his curiosity, he headed towards the light.

"What the hell is that?" he said as he slowly approached the mysterious blue light, when he got there, he found something that he didn't believe he would see, a portal.

"Wait, is that? Dude, that's a fucking portal!" he exclaimed. The sight of the portal made him run back to his friends so he could show them his discovery, his actual discovery.

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were still waiting for the bus, which was slower than usual today than other days.

"Is this bus ever gonna come?" asked Stan, as they have been waiting at the bus stop for about an hour now.

"No, but I know what is." said Kenny as he laughed shortly after.

"If you say your dick then we're just gonna walk to school without you Kenny." said Kyle.

After he says this, Cartman comes in running frantically at them. "You guys! You guys! Come quick! You gotta see this you guys! Seriously!" exclaimed Cartman.

"See what?" asked Stan.

"Cartman, if this is about the three-headed beaver we're not going." said Kyle

"It's not the beaver, it's something you guys need to see! Seriously come quick!" Cartman said as he was trying to signal them to follow him.

"Should we follow him?" Kyle asked to Stan.

"It's your choice dude." Stan said.

"Aw whatever, this better be good Cartman!" exclaimed Kyle. "If this is another prank, then you are gonna pay big time!"

"Trust me, this is not a prank." said Cartman.

The boys then headed to the area where Cartman was leading them, they go on the similar route Cartman went last time, but at a faster pace due to Cartman walking faster, which was making him pant short gasps of breath.

"Over here. It should be where those trees are." said Cartman. "Yes, there it is guys." The rest of them then look at the portal much to their surprise since they thought that Cartman was joking.

"Oh my god, he… he wasn't lying, he wasn't lying at all!" yelled Stan.

"I can't fucking believe it." said Kyle

"See I told you guys, I told you there was something I needed to show you! But noooooooooo, you guys always don't want to believe me!" exclaimed Cartman as the rest of them kept looking at the portal in complete shock.

"How did you even find this Cartman?!" asked Kyle

"I don't know! I just found it when I came over here looking for that piece of wood!" exclaimed Cartman. This made Kyle ask a string of questions much to Cartman's delight.

"Dude, where does it even go?!" asked Kyle.

"Oh, so now you want to ask questions about my remarkable discovery huh? Huh? Huh?" Cartman then begins to taunt Kyle as he points to him and the portal at the same time.

"Cartman! That is a fucking portal right behind you! And all you're gonna do is taunt me because I was wrong?!" shouted Kyle.

"Uhh, yes. Because I found the portal, and you didn't! Neither did you Stan, or neither did you Kenny!" he said while pointing at them.

"Okay Cartman fine! You were right! Now will you please tell me, where does it go!?" asked Kyle. Cartman finished taunting and went back to his normal self.

"Oh, uhhhhh. I don't quite know, but let's find out!." Cartman then makes a run for the portal so he could jump in it.

"Wait! We don't even know what it leads to dude!" exclaimed Stan. "What if it leads to like a dangerous country or a serial killer's house or something!"

"I don't think a serial killer would be smart enough to make a portal like that, but it is possible." said Kyle. "I got an idea, how about we all go in at the same time, that way if there is anything bad on the other side, we can stop it since we all will be there!" said Kyle.

"Hmm, not too bad of an idea Kyle." Cartman complimented. "I guess Jews really do have good ideas don't they?"

"Oh shut up." Kyle said sternly. The boys then all got near the portal and proceeded to jump in at someone's count.

"You ready?" Stan asked Kyle

"Yeah, I am." Kyle said with a bit hesitation. "What about you Cartman?"

"Oh, I am definitely ready." said Cartman. Kyle then looked at Kenny to ask him.

"How bout you Kenny?" Kyle asked him. Kenny shook a little bit, thinking that he was gonna die again. But, he eventually responds to Kyle's question.

"Yeah, I'm ready" said Kenny worriedly.

"Well then, on my count then." Kyle said, and then began counting. "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2…

"Wait, wait, wait!" Cartman interrupted. Making the rest of the boys look at him in confusion.

"What?" asked Kyle.

"I gotta take a shit first." said Cartman.

"Oh fuck that!" shouted Kyle. "One!" Right after he shouted that number, all the boys jumped in the portal, disappearing from their town of South Park.

Then in the blink of an eye, the boys find themselves in the portal spinning around in a blue, crazy circle which makes all of them scream loudly.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" shouted Cartman

"I DON'T KNOW!" shouted Kyle in response all while they were spinning.

Stan then begins groaning in pain and starts to get nauseous. "Dude, I don't feel so- BLEGH!" Stan said as he vomited in the portal, making it go around in circles as well.

The boys start spinning for a little bit longer until all of a sudden, they see a bright white light. They soon find themselves without explanation on a cold metal floor that they landed on.

After they stop being dizzy after going through the portal, they all got up and look around of where they were at, which sort of surprises them on how detailed and nice the area looked.

"Dude, where are we?" asked Stan.

"I have no idea, but this place looks amazing!" exclaimed Kyle. "What exactly is this place?"

Cartman then looks around at the area they landed in and didn't seem to find interest at the place at all. "I don't know about you guys, but this place looks boring as shit. Well, I'm going back." But, as soon as Cartman started walking towards the portal, he turns around as he hears footsteps behind him. "What the hell is that?" Cartman asked till he saw the rest of the group look at something.

"I think the real question is, what the hell is THAT?" Kyle said as he pointed a finger at a blue, walking, alien in the middle of the building they were at. The alien then turned around towards the boys and dropped his jaw in disbelief, doing nothing but staring at them.

"Uh, do you need something?" Stan asked the mysterious creature. The alien still said nothing and just continued staring at them, he then slowly fell back and fainted on the ground.

"Dude? You okay?" Kyle asked the now fainted creature.

Cartman then got mad at Stan for making the creature faint. "Well nice going Stan you fucking killed him!"


	3. Chapter 3

It's been a few hours since the mysterious creature that Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny met had fainted. The boys spent all those hours trying to constantly wake up the creature and get answers on where they were at. But, to no avail, it has not awaken yet.

"Hey, blue guy! Can you wake up now?! Wake up!" screamed Cartman, as it was his turn to wake the alien up.

"That's not gonna work Cartman, screaming at this thing isn't gonna wake it up." said Kyle.

"Well, that's what you guys were doing to try to wake it up!"

"Yeah, and you clearly saw that it didn't do jack shit!"

"Well that's because you guys scream like a bunch of pussies. I scream like a man." This made Kyle start to heat up and scold Cartman once again.

"God-dammit Cartman! You are not a man, you are very far from being a man! I mean, you fucking cried when I tapped you back at Canada!" exclaimed Kyle.

"Yeah, but that's because you punched me dickhole! What the hell are you talking about tapping me?!" Cartman asked to Kyle.

"That was a tap! What do you think Stan? Was that a tap or a punch?" asked Kyle.

"Dude, we went to Canada so long ago that I can't even remember anything that happened on that day, or even anything that happened the day after." said Stan.

"What about you Kenny?" asked Kyle.

"(Dude, I fucking got vaporized before I even saw any of that.)" replied Kenny.

"Oh yeah, that's true. Well you still aren't the manliest Cartman!" said Kyle.

"Yeah-huh I am! I am the manliest out of all you guys! You guys ain't got shit! I am a real man!" said Cartman as he flexed his muscles, or at least what he thinks are muscles to his friends.

As he did that though, the blue alien started to wake up which made the boys have shocked faces while looking at the alien waking up. Cartman didn't care and just continued to try to show off in front of the boys

"What's the matter? You guys scared of my awesome muscles?" said Cartman as the alien continued to rise.

"Cartman, turn around now." said Stan.

"Why? Are you guys gonna trick me or something? You gonna knock me out so you can steal these awesome triceps?"

"Just turn around fatass!" shouted Kyle.

"Why? What's behind me?" asked Cartman as he turned around and saw the blue alien on its feet looking at Cartman.

"Hello!" the alien greeted happily at Cartman.

"AAAAAHHHHH! IT'S AWAKE, THE FUCKING THING IS AWAKE!" shouted Cartman as he ran back to the boys.

"Who's the pussy now?" said Kyle.

"Woah, woah, woah, calm down guys. I'm not gonna do anything bad to you guys, trust me, I'm not evil." said the blue alien.

"Wow, an alien that talks, it's not like we've seen that before." said Stan.

"No kidding." replied Kyle. "So, where are you from little, blue, orb? Or most importantly, who are you?"

"My name is Hermaphone, I know it's kind of a confusing name, but it was given to me at my birth."

"Who gave you the name, your dad, or your mom?" asked Kyle.

Hermaphone frowned a little bit after he asked that. "Uhh, I don't have parents, I was born naturally on a planet where I used to live."

"Oh wow, interesting." said Kyle. Till Cartman butted in and interrupted Kyle.

"Woah now, hold on a second! I got a question to ask you Hermaphone." said Cartman.

"Well sure, what do you want to ask?"

"Where the fuck are we!?" shouted Cartman.

"Hey now, there is no need for shouting Cartman." Hermaphone politely told Cartman. Which made the boys have shocked expressions on their faces.

"Wait a minute, how the hell do you know his name?!" exclaimed Stan.

"He probably heard it when he was waking up Stan." replied Kyle.

"No, no, I knew your names before, heck, I know a lot of things about you!" exclaimed Hermaphone as he made the boys get a little creeped out.

"Wait, what do you mean you know a lot of things about us? We just came here!" exclaimed Kyle.

"Hold on a second Kyle, I can prove that this guy is a fraud." said Cartman. "Alright Hermaphone, if you really know a lot of things about us. Then what was my favorite stuffed friend that I used to have?" asked Cartman.

"Oh that's easy, it was Clyde Frog." said Hermaphone which made the boys all gasp in shock. Cartman, on the other hand, couldn't believe what he just heard and backed up slowly from Hermaphone towards the boys again.

"How the hell do you know his name?" asked Cartman.

"Well I-"

"HOW THE HELL, DO YOU KNOW HIS NAME?!" asked Cartman again, but more concerned and angrier than before as he started to approach Hermaphone again. "Who are you?! Are you some kind of spy or something? Are you working for the government, the NSA, illuminati? How do you know Clyde Frog?!" demanded Cartman as he was extremely close to Hermaphone's face.

"Well, I would explain to you, if you could just back away maybe a few inches away from my face if that's okay." Hermaphone said calmly. Cartman backed up and got ready to listen while the boys got ready to listen as well.

"You see, when I was a kid, I loved to watch many cartoons everyday, I even got away with watching some that I wasn't supposed to watch at my age. That included yours." said Hermaphone.

"Wait a minute, what do you mean you used to watch us?" asked a concerned Kyle.

"Yeah, and why are you calling us a cartoon? We're not a cartoon!" said Stan.

"But, you guys really are. Now I know I sound crazy right now, and what I'm about to say is even gonna be crazier. There is a whole audience watching you guys constantly everyday." said Hermaphone.

The boys did nothing but look at each other in confusion. They all thought that Hermaphone was crazy in the head for saying this, but nonetheless, they kept listening.

"Audience? What audience?!" asked Cartman.

"You guys are being watched at random times in your life, most notably when you have your crazy adventures in South Park. Who are you being watched by you ask? The most realistic beings that you will ever see in your life, but will never see unfortunately, because those beings and you are separated between a layer that separates fiction from reality. A layer that is kept in order to keep things intact."

"That sounds crazy, like really fucking crazy." said Kyle. "But, what does all of this have to do with you knowing the name of Cartman's gay stuffed animal?"

"Gay?! Clyde Frog is not gay!" shouted Cartman.

"Shut up Cartman." said Stan. After this the boys then turned back to Hermaphone to get more answers. To which Hermaphone continued talking again.

"Now, about Clyde Frog, I know his name because I am one of the audiences. You guys exist as a cartoon in my reality, along with many other cartoons that you guys never even heard of! Your cartoon has been running for many years and I, along with the beings in my dimension, have all watched it as entertainment. You guys have really amused us for all these years, and I'd like to thanks you guys for making those 20 years really enjoyable for all of us." Hermaphone complimented.

"Uh? Thanks, I guess?" said Stan. Cartman then started talking after he gave his thanks.

"Alright dude now look, I don't know what kind of cocaine or LSD shit that you're on. But, I'm not gonna believe that we're being watched by these random shitheads in other dimensions. I mean, out of all the things that I've heard people say in my life, that has to be the most dumbest thing I have ever heard somebody say." said Cartman.

"Oh please, like you don't say dumb shit too!" exclaimed Kyle. "Cartman, I don't what to say but, Hermaphone might be right. I mean, remember when we found out that an alien race was watching us as a TV show and threatened to destroy us because it got cancelled? If something like that happened, then what he might be saying is shockingly, true. Think about it."

Cartman then thought about it, but he still had a hard time believing something crazy like that. After a few seconds of thinking about it. Cartman finally came to a conclusion,

"Alright Hermaphone, I believe you." said Cartman, but he wasn't too modest about saying it though. "If what you're saying is true, then I guess that means that all our darkest secrets are known right?"

"Not exactly." said Hermaphone. "Like I said, you guys are only seen at random points of your life, so not all your secrets are revealed, but a good damn portion of them are."

"Well that sucks." said Stan.

"Well then, I guess I just need to have one more question answered." Cartman said to Hermaphone.

"Sure, what do you need to ask?" said Hermaphone.

"What I asked earlier, where the fuck are we?" asked Cartman.

"Why, I was just gonna get to that." Hermaphone then took out a cane from his back and started to grin happily at them. "You guys are on a little planet that I'd like to call, Famaganzian!"

"Fama- what now?" asked Cartman.

"Famaganzian. A planet that I have founded to do something that I would never think is possible. But, would be a pleasure to see how it turns out."

"And that is?" Kyle asked Hermaphone.

"A community of cartoons!" Hermaphone joyfully said.

"What the hell do you mean by a 'community of cartoons'?" asked Stan.

"What I mean is that the portal on this planet will be used for many of my favorite cartoons to come and stay as they please, but more importantly, to get to know each other and create one hell of a cartoon planet!" shouted Hermaphone. The boys just stood there looking at him like he was a lunatic.

"Wait, so those cartoons that you said existed in your reality, are gonna come to this planet?!" asked Cartman.

"That is correct. But, I'm not gonna force them to come here, so instead, I'm gonna let them discover it!" exclaimed Hermaphone.

"This guy is on some massive shrooms I'll tell you that." Cartman said quietly to Kenny.

"So wait, how will they even discover this place?" asked Stan. "Are you just gonna like, put a portal in their dimensions like you did with ours and wait for them to discover it?"

"Yup!" said Hermaphone.

"Holy crap." After Stan said this, Hermaphone started grunting painfully and fell to the ground for a bit, but got back up.

"(Oh shit dude, you okay?)" Kenny asked Hermaphone.

"Yeah, it's just the Taco Bell that I discovered kicking into me." Hermaphone said. "Hold on guys, I'll be right back." Hermaphone then went to find a restroom in the town hall, leaving the area.

"Wow, even an alien like that has to take a shit." said Cartman. "I still think this guy is fucking bonkers though."

"I'm gonna have to agree with you Cartman." said Stan. "Like, he created this planet to see all of his favorite cartoons and meet them all together. That sounds a bit odd if you ask me."

"He probably did it though so he can finally see his dreams." said Kyle. "He's accomplished something really hard to finally experience what he wanted to see his whole life, we can't just crush them like that."

"I guess that's true." said Stan. "I also guess we could stay here. This place looks fucking amazing I'm not gonna lie."

"You can say that again." said Kyle.

"You guys can continue to get horny over this place, but I wanna find out who really is coming to this planet you guys." said Cartman.

"Don't worry about it Cartman, you'll find out when they get here." said Kyle.

"Yeah, but what if they suck? I don't know about you guys, but I want to find out who's coming."

"Well even if you want to know, there is no way that you can ever find out. It's impossible!" said Kyle. After he said this, Stan caught something next to the portal which was turned off that the moment and walked towards it. What he saw was a monitor showing a bunch of different frequencies and making many kinds of different weird sounds.

"Hey guys, come over here." said Stan. The rest of the boys then headed over to what Stan was looking at.

"What the hell is that?" asked Kyle.

"It seems to be some kind of monitor." said Stan. He then looked above the monitor to see the words. 'DIMENSIONAL FREQUENCIES'.

"Dimensional frequencies? What the hell does that mean?" asked Stan. Kyle then kept repeating the two words in his head and finally came to a realization of what it was.

"Stan! That's a monitor used to see what's on the other side of the portal! It picks up different frequencies on where the other portal is at, and displays them on here!"

"So what does that mean?" asked Stan.

"You can see what cartoons are gonna arrive through this thing!" exclaimed Kyle.

"You can!?" shouted Cartman. "We'll excuse me guys, but I'm gonna take a look at this thing if you don't mind!"

Cartman messes with the monitor a little bit, but gets nothing but grainy and blurred images along with some really weird sounds.

"This thing sucks! You can't even see shit with this!" Cartman angrily said. Kyle then noticed that there was a headphone jack next to the monitor and called it out.

"You guys! Look, there's a jack next to the monitor. Maybe we could use that to give us a better quality!" exclaimed Kyle. "Kenny, do you still have your Beats on you?"

"(Yeah dude they're right here.)" Kenny said as he took out a white pair of Beats by Dre out of his pocket.

"Well stop holding them around like that! Give them to me!" Cartman shouted at Kenny, which made Kenny get an angry look on his face.

"(You better fucking be careful with those.)" Kenny said sternly.

"Don't worry Kenny, I'll give you back your headphones after I find out who these cartoons really are." said Cartman.

Cartman then plugged the headphones next to the monitor and proceeded to put them on. When he put them on however, he got a blank expression for a few seconds before snapping back to normal.

"Dude…" Cartman said blankly.

"What? What do you hear Cartman?" asked Kyle.

"It's not more of what I can hear it's, it's what I can see…" Cartman then went cross-eyed for a moment before getting his pupils back to the right place.

"See? You can see something?!" asked Kyle.

"What do you see?" asked Stan.

"I… I see just a bunch of different colors right now, nothing really happening. Wait a minute, I'm starting to see some towns now. They all look different, and not only that, but they're different in style as well. This is really, really weird you guys."

"Well, is there anything else you see?" asked Kyle, "How about any cartoons? Do you see any characters or anything?"

"No, all I see is just different towns, I can't really explain what's in them because they all appear to fucking fast." explained Cartman.

"Wait, try closing your eyes, maybe you can see them better." suggested Kyle.

Cartman then closed his eyes and concentrated deeply on what he was seeing, he had his eyes closed for a few seconds before opening his eyes all of a sudden.

"I see something you guys, I see... people, I'm starting to see people guys! They're coming into my mind!" Cartman then started panicking and sweating.

"Calm down Cartman! What kind of people do you see?" asked Stan. Cartman then started panicking much more and started to freak out.

"So many different kinds! Some of these aren't even people! What the hell is that? Is that a sponge and a starfish with eyes?!" Cartman frantically asked himself.

"What?! What the fuck are you seeing right now?!" Kyle also frantically asked.

"All I see are these two twins right now, one has a hat with a tree on it and one has a headband! Now I see these two teenagers and, what the fuck? One has hearts on its cheeks! And now I'm seeing some weird orange guy with a weird blue horse!"

"What the fuck are you even saying?!" asked Stan.

"I'm saying what I fucking see, that's what I'm saying! What the fuck!"

"Just start spouting what you see Cartman!" shouted Kyle.

"Blue bird and raccoon! Boy with a weird white hat! Yellow dog! Blue cat! Orange fish! A boy with a fucking gem in his stomach! Three bears! A weird ass cat and a weird ass chihuahua! A small kangaroo! A cow! A turtle! A monkey! An elephant! A rhinoceros!"

"Uh, okay Cartman, you can stop now." Kyle said. But Cartman just kept on going.

"Now there's a fucking talking blue robot! And now there's a talking grey one! Pink dog! Pink girl! Blue girl! Green girl! Holy shit those girls had big eyes. A weird blue uh? Imaginary friend?

"Cartman, I said you can stop!" shouted Kyle.

"Blue-haired girl! Pink-haired girl! A boy with a big ass nose! A skeleton! An angry girl with blond hair! Now's there is some mad fucking scientist that's drunk! Now there's some random kid scientist with big glasses! And he's chasing after some random blond-haired girl!

"CARTMAN!" Kyle started to get very pissed.

"Oh my fucking god. How many siblings are in that fucking house?! Holy shit there's eleven of them! And, what the fuck are those?! Are those fucking colored horses!? Oh god, there is fucking colored horses! AAAAAHHHHHH!"

Kyle then had enough and took the headphones off Cartman and turned off the monitor. Cartman then fainted to the ground a few seconds after.

"Cartman? Cartman?" Stan said as he was trying to wake him up. A few seconds later, Cartman woke up screaming scaring the crap out of everybody.

"Cartman, calm the fuck down!" exclaimed Kyle.

"How can I calm down?! I just saw some of the most freakiest shit I have ever seen in my entire life!"

"Well, judging from what you said, it didn't sound that bad." said Stan.

"It was bad Stan! Even more bad since I don't even know who the hell they are! And now, they're all coming to this planet!" exclaimed Cartman. After he said this, Hermaphone came back from the restroom scratching his buttocks. The boys quietly tell Cartman to shut up so Hermaphone won't find out that they messed with the monitor.

"Oh man, that Taco Bell really messed me up guys." said Hermaphone. He then saw that the boys were grinning nervously and got very concerned. "You guys okay?"

"What? Oh yeah, everything is just fine." said Kyle.

"There's nothing you need to worry about Hermaphone." exclaimed Cartman.

"Nothing at all." said Stan.

"(Yup!)" said Kenny.

"Oh, we'll I'm glad to hear that! No, I was thinking if you guys wanted a tour of this place you know just if you only wanted to." said Hermaphone.

"We'd love to have a tour!" exclaimed Kyle.

"Yup, tours are cool!" said Cartman.

"Alright, well then, follow me then you guys." Hermaphone said joyfully as he headed for the exit of the town hall.

The boys then followed shortly after he started heading to the exit.

"We don't mention anything you guys, especially you Cartman." said Kyle sternly. "Let's just keep that to ourselves, and pretend nothing happened."


	4. Chapter 4

It was a peaceful afternoon in Toon City, Famaganzian. Although the streets of the city were vacant for the most part, they were still intact with all the structures looking brand new and fresh like nobody has ever been on the planet before.

The only beings occupying the planet are a blue alien and a couple of foul-mouthed kids, the latter who were receiving a tour of this place to get to know it more.

"Hermaphone, can I ask you a question?" asked Kyle. Hermaphone stopped his talking of the tour for a bit to direct himself to Kyle's question.

"Sure Kyle, what is it?" responded Hermaphone. Kyle was about to ask his question but was interrupted by the weird sounds that Cartman was making.

"Cartman, you okay?" said Kyle, but Cartman just kept making a bunch of random sounds like he was traumatized. "CARTMAN!"

Cartman then screamed loudly like someone was about to kill him or something, making the boys and Hermaphone all surprised. The boys however, were getting nervous about Cartman's freakouts since they couldn't let Hermaphone know that Cartman looked at the portal log.

"Uh, is Cartman okay guys?" asked Hermaphone. The boys tried to come up with an answer for a bit till Cartman gave one himself to Hermaphone.

"Oh yeah! Everything's fine Hermaphone! I've just been holding my shit ever since we started and I didn't want to make a fuss about it." said Cartman.

"Oh, well why didn't you say something? You can always use a restroom you know. Why we just passed by many places that had some!" exclaimed Hermaphone. Cartman was about to say something else, till Stan came up with another response.

"Yeah well, Cartman is always picky about what restroom he wants to go in. He's always used to his own bathroom and won't dare to lay his fatass in another restroom." said Stan.

"AY! I told you so many times Stan, that I like to go to a clean restroom that doesn't have fucking spiders, piss, or shit all over! I like a clean restroom, one that's available at all times and does not have any filthy fucking germs all over!" exclaimed Cartman.

"Since when do you care about germs fatboy!?" asked Kyle.

"Well you see Kyle, I-", Cartman stopped mid sentence and looked at the other end of the street with a frightened expression. The others looked too, but to their confusion, they saw nothing. Hermaphone was growing more concerned about Cartman's odd behavior.

All of a sudden, Cartman ran to an alley that they passed by earlier, making the boys call him back.

"(Dude, what the fuck is wrong with him?)" asked Kenny.

"I, I don't know." said Kyle. "We're gonna go check on him Hermaphone."

"Oh, do you want me to come with you?" asked Hermaphone.

"Uh, no it's okay. I don't want you to see Cartman's little pussy attack that he gets when he's constipated." said Stan.

"Oh okay, just try to get back as soon as you can. I want to show you the rest of the town." said Hermaphone.

"We'll try." said Kyle. After he said this, the boys ran after Cartman, leaving Hermaphone on the sidewalk. Cartman was in a dumpster in the alley, shaking loudly making a large, rattle noise.

Kenny opened up the dumpster to find Cartman in a fetal position shaking. He then pulled him out and and got all the waste off of his body.

"Cartman, what the fuck is wrong with you?! Why are you making what you saw in that portal a big deal?!" asked Kyle angrily. "I really don't know what could be so damn scary about those, "toons" that you saw!"

"Kyle." said Cartman, who stopped shaking but still was a bit nervous. "Kyle, what I saw was something that I have never seen in my life. Those "toons" looked unlike anything that I've… we've seen before. It's just so shocking that one day, they will be arriving here soon. One day, they will all be here.

"Well if you don't want to stay here then you can go back you know." said Stan. Cartman then broke off his nervous mood and got angry like he always did.

"Hell no, I'm not going back. Fuck that place dude, look at this place, they got a KFC that is literally in the most perfect spot ever and it's like a fucking paradise here! Fuck you guys, you ain't making me go back." exclaimed Cartman

"Well okay, but can you please stop acting all weird? Hermaphone is gonna find out if you keep acting like this." said Kyle.

"Eh, I'll try, I'll try." said Cartman.

"Wait, wait, wait. I want to ask you something Cartman, why did you look at the other side of the street all funny back there?" asked Stan.

"Uh, nothing. I just thought I saw two birds fucking each other over there." said Cartman.

"What bird has sex in the middle of the street?!" asked Kyle.

"Any bird dude, look it up." said Cartman.

"Yeah right, come on let's get back to Hermaphone." said Kyle. The boys then went back to Hermaphone, except Cartman, who stayed back while muttering something under his breath.

"I can't let those guys find out what I'm seeing, I don't want them to call me stupid fucking names for being crazy." said Cartman. "Let's just hope that all goes well, and that nothing bad happens, I don't want to jump the fucking shark on these guys already."

"What shark?" said a blue figure who was right beside Cartman, it wasn't Hermaphone, since it looked more like a blue thumb with eyes than a blue orb.

"AWAYAYAYA!" screamed Cartman.

"Hey Cartman! You coming?" asked Stan.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll… be there in a… bit." said Cartman in a troubled tone, as he was shocked that he just saw one of the toons right in front of his face. Cartman followed behind the boys, while he was still talking to himself.

"What was that? What the hell did I just see?" Cartman asked himself.

"What do you mean?" said someone sitting on a curb next to Cartman, that someone turned out to be a gray robot, who was drinking beer like there was no tomorrow.

"Kid, you got to not let these hallucinations get to you. Cause let me tell you, once they get deep in your head, you have no control anymore." said the robot in a drunken state.

"Who, who are you?" asked Cartman.

"The name's Beeeennnnn…" the robot said, before melting in a puddle of gray, metallic liquid.

"What the fuck is going on!" shouted Cartman.

"Hey, watch your language!" exclaimed a red-haired kid with glasses, who was wearing a white lab coat, and was building a contraption on a table in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Such obscenities like that distract me from my hard work! So, I would mind if you could keep it down a bit." the boy got back to working, before falling in a hole that opened up on the sidewalk, not reacting at all as he fell. Cartman looked bewilderedly at where the hole closed up and started to go crazy again.

"See, this is the kind of shit that gets me weird like this! I'm not used to weird shit like this!" exclaimed Cartman.

"Well you better get used to it." said a little-blond haired girl behind Cartman and was actually about Cartman's height. She was wearing a pink shirt with a flower on it, had a headband, and sported an angry glare at Cartman. "If you think this is bad, then why don't you try living with two idiots who make my life a living hell almost every day!" said the girl as she walked slowly toward Cartman, making him back up.

"Uh, because I haven't had problems with idiots. Well, except for Butters because he always acts like a dumba-"

Then all of a sudden, Cartman got smashed with a giant mallet on his head that the girl took from behind her back, which sent Cartman into the ground, nowhere to be seen.

Cartman then popped out of a hole on the ground in a random town that looked nothing like Famaganzian. Cartman saw nothing for a while, but then saw a bunch of colored horses, or as they are respectfully called, "ponies". They all walked out of their houses and noticed Cartman sitting on the ground staring at them.

Cartman baffled, kept staring for a while, until a random pink pony came out of nowhere and scared the crap out of him.

"Hi there!" exclaimed the pink pony.

"AAAAHHHHH! Nope, fuck this dude. I'm out." Cartman then went back through the hole and fell out into another place. He found himself in a normal bedroom with nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hmm, this doesn't look too bad. What's next? I bet there's gonna be some fucking monsters that are gonna attack me!" exclaimed Cartman.

Cartman walked around the room and stumbled upon a photo of eleven kids sitting on the couch, all grouped together for a photo. Cartman immediately recognized the kids from what he saw in the portal, like with all the other characters he had seen in his vision.

"Uh oh, it's this family. This large fucking-"

"Hey!" two kids shouted from the bed behind him. Cartman turned back and saw a couple of twins sitting upright in their beds staring at them. While they both had blond hair, one had a tiara on her head, while the other had a red cap instead. Cartman stuttered for a bit while trying to come up with what to say.

"Um, listen guys, I didn't mean to disturb-"

"INTRUDER ALERT!" the twins both shouted which made some kind of an alarm go off in the house, which made Cartman start to sweat nervously.

"OH NO, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no! I got to get out of here!" exclaimed Cartman, who made a dash for the door to escape, but instead found the rest of the family standing in front of him. They all started chanting in monotone voices once they saw him.

"Be gone stranger, be gone stranger, be gone stranger, be gone stranger." they kept chanting as they were moving closer to Cartman. The twins soon joined them in their chanting right before Cartman backed up to the wall.

Cartman remained stuck to the wall, till he fell into oblivion in some kind of purple void. Making him scream.

"MAKE THIS SHIT STOOOOOOOOOOOPP!" screamed Cartman, Cartman then fell on a giant piece of toast out of nowwhere and got up, all drenched in butter. He then sees a pair of giant hands grab the toast while Cartman slides and hangs off it.

"MMM! BUTTERED TOAST!" said the giant slowly, who turned out to be a giant kid with short hair who aimed the toast straight for his mouth.

Cartman screamed again and jumped off the toast, and fell screaming into a more morbid hole with many of the characters that he saw in his vision, and in the portal, around him.

"I HATE THIS FUCKING DAY!" Cartman screamed to the top of his lungs till he fell more deep down into complete darkness.

Cartman, who was still screaming, now found himself on a sidewalk, and got splashed by a bucket of water onto his face. Cartman turned to see who splashed the water, and saw that Hermaphone and Kyle did, with Stan and Kenny watching from the background.

Cartman started to recover slowly and put his hand over his head. "Ahhhhhh, sshhiiiiittt you guys." Cartman exhaustingly said. "What happened?"

"You were screaming on the sidewalk, and talking and shouting to yourself for about the last half-hour." said Kyle.

"(Or for the last couple of minutes if you count reading time.)" said Kenny.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean Kenny?" asked Stan. Kenny just looked at him for a few seconds, and then looked back at Cartman.

"Can you guys explain to me why he was mentioning some cartoons that I've watched in his little episode that he just had?" asked Hermaphone, who was now fully concerned at the boys.

"Well, um, you see-" Kyle tried to explain, till he saw Hermaphone looking at him angrily, like he knew if he was lying or not. Kyle did nothing but let out a long sigh.

"(Well, we're fucked.)" said Kenny.

Cartman then collapsed on the ground and groaned loudly.


End file.
